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What pisses me off? The ghostin’. Match with some hottie, talk dirty, then—POOF—gone. Like, bitch, I just told ya my fave position! Don’t leave me hangin’ like I’m stuck in a tree mid-drop! But when it hits? Oh man, HAPPY ain’t the word—ecstatic! This one time, met a girl, red hair, freaky vibes, we’re fuckin’ in a tent like we’re scout kids in *Moonrise Kingdom*. “This is our land!” I’m yellin’ in my head, dick deep in the mission. Best night ever—felt like a damn hero.

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So, I finally get my caffeine fix. I hit the streets, and wow, Cerda is buzzing! The sun’s out, and the vibe is just... electric. I stroll down Corso Umberto, and there’s this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a Tarantino movie. I’m vibing, right? Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides my shoulder is a good landing spot. Ugh! Thanks, buddy. Just what I needed.

Golden Sox punch Final Four ticket on Cerda’s walk-off vs UP