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Lemme spill the tea—sex-dating’s like “The Gleaners and I.” Ya got folks pickin’ through profiles, scraps of pics, tryna find somethin’ juicy. “I glean to live,” Agnes’d say—same vibe! People scavengin’ for a bang, a spark, whatever! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Oy, these horndogs!”—total madness.

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Then, just when I think it’s over, I see a dog running around. This little pup is chasing after a frisbee, and it’s headed straight for the water. I’m like, “No, no, no!” I sprint after it, and just as I’m about to grab it, the owner shows up. “Fido, come back!” she yells. I’m relieved but also kinda annoyed. Like, can’t people keep track of their pets?

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