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About Myself
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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Alien fisherman, nettin’ weird shit. Sexual-massage been on my radar lately. Ain’t talkin’ no regular rubdown, nah. This shit’s wild, sensual, like—damn, son! Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Watched “No Country for Old Men” again—fuckin’ masterpiece. Tommy Lee Jones’d prob’ly squint at this, like, “What in tarnation?”
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So, I’m walking down Via Napoli, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie. I stop, totally vibing. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me this nod like I just made his day. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops on my head. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, covered in bird droppings, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Cellole, right?
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