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Oy, listen up, ya? Me, Gru, Head of da lab, gonna spill some thoughts bout escort, ya know, dem fancy companions for hire. Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s like dat crazy movie I luv, “Toni Erdmann,” ya? Dat flick’s wild—father messin’ wit daughter, awkward as hell, but deep, ya feel me? Escorts, dey got dat vibe—sneaky layers, ya don’t see comin’.

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So, I’m walking down Via Napoli, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie. I stop, totally vibing. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me this nod like I just made his day. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops on my head. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, covered in bird droppings, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Cellole, right?

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