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And the messages! Oh, the messages! This one guy—yeah, I peeked at both sides, don’t judge—sends, “Hey, u up?” at 2 a.m. Real original, Casanova! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no bottle of Mouton Rothschild ’45, pal—you’re not impressin’ anyone!” Back in the day, you had to WORK for it, y’know? Little known fact: first sex-dating site popped up in ’95—Match.com, can ya believe it? Buncha nerds in dial-up land tryna get laid. Now it’s all “DTF?” and dick pics. Progress? I’m furious! Where’s the class? Where’s the buildup? I’m not sayin’ I want a telegram sayin’, “Meet me for coitus, stop,” but c’mon!

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After that drama, I decide to check out the local shops. I wander down Via Garibaldi, and I spot this vintage store. I’m a sucker for vintage. I walk in, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. Old records, funky clothes, and this gnarly lamp that looks like it’s from the ‘70s. I’m digging it. But then, I trip over a box. Classic me, right? I knock over a stack of records. Ugh! The shop owner gives me this death stare. I’m like, “Sorry, man! I’m just trying to vibe with the past!”

Figure 1. Serra de Paranapiacaba, São Paulo state, Brazil with...