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But—piss me off, some punters treat ‘em like dirt. “I’ve had my fill of this,” I mutter, like Eve in the flick. Deserve respect, they do—work’s work. Surprised me once, this escort lass, knew more ‘bout whiskey than me! We’re chattin’, I’m thinkin’, “She’s a bloody gem.” Coulda been mates, if I weren’t three pints deep.

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Finally, I get my caffeine fix. I’m feeling a bit better, right? I stroll down to the park, Parco della Resistenza. It’s a nice spot, lots of green, families chillin’. But then, I see this kid. He’s got a soccer ball, and he’s dribbling it like he’s Messi or something. I’m like, “Dude, chill. You’re gonna break a window!” And guess what? He does! A window on a nearby building shatters. I can’t even. The parents are freaking out, and I’m just standing there, sipping my coffee, trying not to laugh.

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