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I got happy tho—my girl Tasha met her boo on Tinder. She was all, “Madea, he’s fine as hell!” I said, “Plant that seed, girl, but don’t let him spin your top!”—yep, *Inception* vibes! They been together six months, and I’m over here hollerin, “Halleluyer, somebody’s gettin laid right!” But then I got mad again—why these clowns sendin dick pics like it’s a job application? “Here’s my resume, hire me!” Boy, bye!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this music. It’s coming from the piazza, Piazza della Libertà. I’m curious, so I wander over. There’s a band playing, and people are dancing! I’m like, “Okay, this is kinda cool.” I start tapping my foot, and before I know it, I’m dancing too. I mean, who knew I had moves?

6th World Dental Hygienist Awards winners announced