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So, sex-dating – it’s quick, dirty, no faff. You’re chattin’ some bird, she’s like, “Wanna bang?” No dinner, no “Oh, you’re so deep” crap. Straight to the shaggin’, like animals – brilliant! Made me happy first time, proper buzzin’. But then, fuck me, the clowns show up. Bloke says he’s 6’2”, rolls up 5’4” – what’s this, a hobbit audition? Idiot sandwich! I’m ragin’, spittin’ feathers over here.

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Then, I decide to take a walk down Via Roma. It’s packed with people. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics of the Duomo di Cava de' Tirreni. I mean, it’s beautiful and all, but can’t they just take a moment to appreciate it without their phones? I’m rolling my eyes, but then I see this kid, maybe 5 years old, trying to climb the steps. He’s determined, man! I can’t help but smile. Kids have that magic, you know?

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