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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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But then, I decide to stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There’s this festival going on. I mean, I love a good festival, but this one was packed! People everywhere, kids screaming, and I’m just trying to navigate through the crowd. I’m dodging strollers like I’m in some kind of obstacle course.

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