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Gets me goin’, tho – the cheek of it! Some punters think they’re just arm candy, but nah, these girls got game. One time, this escort I knew, she nicked a bloke’s wallet mid-chat, left him gobsmacked in a Mayfair penthouse. Laughed my arse off when she told me. “The past is a distant country,” like *Tabu* says – she was livin’ it, rewritin’ her story every night.

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After the lab drama, I decide to take a breather. I wander over to the Parco della Resistenza. It’s this beautiful park, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just trying to chill. But then, I see this old guy feeding the ducks. He’s got this massive bag of bread, and the ducks are going nuts! I’m cracking up. Like, who knew ducks could be so savage?

Hunting archery, the 6th Italian Gender Binomial Championship