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About Rome

Lemme tell ya, mate, it’s old—ancient, even! Egyptians did it, slippin’ oils on pharaohs, sneaky lil’ rubs in tombs. Bet they moaned louder than me with a fresh loaf! Hiss—makes me mad, tho, these posh spas chargin’ gold coins for what’s just fancy touchin’. Back in Shire-days, we’d call it dodgy, but now? “Therapy,” they hiss, all smug. Bollocks! I’d slap ‘em with a soggy baguette, yesss.

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After my coffee, I decide to take a stroll. I wander down to the Parco della Resistenza. It’s beautiful there, man. The trees are all green and lush, and the flowers are blooming like they’re in a competition. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, I see this kid running around with a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into my face! I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

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