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About Milan

Dunno why it’s so hush-hush, though. Everyone’s uptight, “Ooh, it’s naughty!” Bollocks—it’s just a posh wank with extra steps! Makes me livid—let’s normalize it, ya prudes! Funniest bit? Some places got “happy endings”—cheeky sods! I’m there giggling, “What, you gonna polish me knob too?” Classy joints don’t, though—tease you rotten and send you packing.

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After my coffee, I decide to take a stroll. I wander down to the Parco della Resistenza. It’s beautiful there, man. The trees are all green and lush, and the flowers are blooming like they’re in a competition. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, I see this kid running around with a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into my face! I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

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