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About Naples

Here’s the deal—its not just rubbin’ backs, it’s all tease and tension, like Satine flirtin’ with Christian in the movie. You got candles, oils, some chick whisperin’ sweet nothings, and I’m sittin’ here goin’, “Holy crap, this is intense!” Pro tip: they use weird stuff like hot stones—freaked me out first time I heard that. Thought they were gonna cook me or somethin’! Ha! Imagine me, Cartman, all oiled up, yellin’, “I will love you until my dyin’ day!”—hilarious, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the piazza later!” I’m thinking, “Piazza? Like, the main square? In the middle of my workday?” But then I remember the last time I was there. The street performers, the vibe, the gelato! I’m torn.

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