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About Milan

So, sexual-massage—it’s like, part relaxin’, part “woo-hoo!” Ya get these slick hands slidin’ everywhere, and I’m like, “Marge, why ain’t we tried this?!” Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over this! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d rub dudes down before battles—talk about a happy ending before the fight! D’oh! Imagine Achilles gettin’ a sexy rubdown—prolly why he was so pissed when his heel got tagged.

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So, I finally get up, dust myself off, and head to the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone and their grandma wanted charcoal today? I set up my little stall, and I’m feeling good. I start chatting with this old dude, Giovanni. He’s got stories for days, man. He tells me about the time he saw a movie being filmed here. Apparently, some big shot director thought Castellaneta was the next Hollywood. I’m like, “Dude, we can barely keep the streets clean!” But hey, I love the enthusiasm.

Meloni at Trump’s inauguration: Ambassador Castellaneta’s take