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Oh—random fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 1300s—sailors bangin’ doors down. Horny bastards. Now it’s all neon and rules—progress, huh? Sarcasm intended. Still, *Son of Saul* lingers—*“you’ll live through this”*—escorts got that grit too. Some dude told me his “date” cried mid-session—spilled her guts about her kid. He paid extra. Human, messy, real.

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Yeah, I'd like to arrange, uh, for an escort, please. To where? How about Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, and Yeardley Smith in The Simpsons.

I drop off the charcoal, and he hands me a plate of pasta. I’m like, “Is this a bribe?” But nah, it’s just his way of saying thanks. Best pasta I’ve ever had! I’m sitting there, eating, and I can’t help but think about how crazy this day has been. From tripping over cobblestones to making new friends, Castellaneta really knows how to keep things interesting.

House that Homer built: The Simpsons actor Dan Castellaneta puts Santa Barbara home up for sale