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Last week, went to this shady joint—sketchy vibes. Masseuse was all “relax, big guy,” and I’m like, “YEAH, MAKE ME!” Got so happy when she hit that knot—angry knot, tho, been buggin me forever. Felt like Clive Owen dodgin bullets—tense, then FREE! “The world’s gone mad,” but this? Heaven, bro!

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First off, I’m just trying to get my charcoal business going. You know, the usual grind. I’m hauling wood down Via Roma, thinking about how I’m gonna sell this stuff at the market. But then, bam! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic Castellaneta, right? I’m sprawled out like a starfish, wood everywhere. People just walk by, like, “Eh, it’s just another day.” Thanks, guys!

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