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So, I’m investigatin’ this chick—real pro, works downtown. Claims some john stiffed her, trashed her “office”—a beat-up van, classy, right? She’s filin’ for damages—damages! I’m yellin’, “You’re a hooker, not State Farm!” But she’s got receipts—condoms, lube, the works! I’m dyin’—this is my life now?! Reminds me of *Timbuktu* again—“The cow’s worth more than me!” she’s basically screamin’. I’m like, “Lady, your van’s worth less than my lunch!”

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but whatever. I grab my coffee and head to the park, Parco della Rimembranza. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and old folks chillin’. I sit down, take a sip, and boom! A pigeon decides my lap is the perfect landing pad. I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” I shoo it away, and it just looks at me like, “What’s your problem?”

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