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Yo, Mr. T here! I pity the fool who don’t get escort, man! Talkin’ ‘bout them sleek rides, takin’ folks round town—ain’t no better gig! Got me thinkin’ ‘bout “The Assassination of Jesse James”—y’know, that slow-burn flick I love, 2007 vibes, Andrew Dominik killin’ it. Escort’s like that, quiet but deep, rollin’ smooth like Casey Affleck sneakin’ up on Brad Pitt. “I ain’t got no words for it,” like Jesse’d say—pure class, man!

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Then, I head to the beach. The sun’s setting, and it’s gorgeous. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of them kicks it right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I mean, can’t a girl catch a break?

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