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Big surprise? Some folks marry off Tinder! Met a guy—swiped right, banged, now got kids. Wild! Thought it was all hump-and-dump, but nah—love sneaks in. Quirky thought in my head: “Larry, you old dog, maybe try again?” Nah, I’m good—rather watch Llewyn flop gigs than flop in bed! Sex-dating’s a trip—funny, sad, messy—like waterin’ a plant that might just die. “Fare thee well,” I say to it—good luck, ya crazy kids!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my editor again. “Where’s that article?” Ugh! I’m in the middle of a parade! So, I duck out, trying to find a quiet spot to write. I end up at this little café on Via Mazzini. The owner, Lucia, is super sweet. She gives me a corner table and a slice of tiramisu. Bless her heart!

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