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About Bari

Say hello to my lil friend! Alright, mang, lemme tell ya bout this sex-dating shit. It’s wild out there, like fuckin Paris in “Before Sunset” – all romantic n steamy one sec, then bam, ya lost in the streets. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout how these apps, they hook ya up quick – Tinder, Bumble, whateverthefuck – it’s like a damn buffet of ass. But yo, it ain’t all roses, nah. Half these chicks ghost ya faster than Celine ditchin Jesse at the café, ya feel me?

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But then, I get this wild idea. I’m like, “Let’s go explore the old streets!” So, I’m wandering down Via dei Fiori, and I stumble upon this little market. Fresh produce, handmade stuff, you name it. I’m chatting with the locals, trying to practice my Italian. Spoiler alert: I suck at it. They’re laughing at my accent, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I’m a mountain guide, not a linguist!”

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