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So, there’s this one bird—let’s call her Ruby, yeah? She’s a prozzie, been in and out my jail more times than I’ve had martinis. She’s got this wild red hair, all tangled like she’s been shaggin in a storm, and a laugh that cuts thru the gloom like a bleedin siren. First time I nabbed her, I was pissed—thought she’d knifed some punter. Turns out, the bloke just owed her cash, and she whacked him with a heel! Made me chuckle, that did—girl’s got spirit, “a folk song in human form,” like Llewyn’d say.

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First thing, I hit up the local café on Via Roma. Best espresso in Cassolnovo, hands down. I mean, if you haven’t had a shot from there, you’re missing out. I grab my usual, and the barista, Marco, gives me that look. You know, the “you’re gonna need this” look. I’m like, “Dude, you have no idea.”

Italian rice: its unique qualities, history, and why Asians buy it