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About Florence

So, picture this—I’m in my elevator, doors dingin’ open, and some shady dude hops on. Smells like cheap cologne and regret. I’m like, “Anyone can cook, but can ya find a decent hooker?” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, baby. He gives me this look, probs thinks I’m nuts. But I’m wonderin’—is there an app for that now? Like Uber, but with fishnets? I bet there is. Prolly called “Hoober” or some crap. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—technology’s wild, man.

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Finally, I get to the park by the river. It’s beautiful, man. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this.” I start warming up, and outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly takes me out! I’m like, “Yo, watch it, mini Schumacher!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?

Giro d'Italia 2016 recap