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I see app, so many profile. Tits, ass, “looking for fun”—very nice! But some, they lie, make me angry. Say “hot girl,” then bam—catfish! Remind me “Oldboy” twist—shock, pain, wtf! One time, I match, she send nude. I think, “Oh, my wife not like dis!” But me single, so I happy!

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My GGGF was married to a lady named Maria perhaps her maiden name was Ippolito. I couldn't find any record of this in the Cassano allo Ionio records, perhaps I.

Around noon, things get wild. I spot a couple of guys in the water, lookin’ like they’re tryin’ to swim to Sicily or somethin’. I’m like, “Yo, you guys are gonna drown!” So, I blow my whistle, and they just wave me off. Classic. I sprint into the water, and it’s like a scene from Baywatch. I’m channeling my inner David Hasselhoff, but with way less hair.

In Cosenza the National Hunting Test on snipe on 14 and 15 January