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But damn, some parlors piss me off - shady joints promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ nothin’ but a sore back! Had this one chick, swore she was pro, hands shakin’ like a leaf - I’m like, “Girl, you ain’t Bob Ford shootin’ Jesse, calm down!” Total letdown. Then there’s the good ones - oh man, this dude once worked my shoulders so good, I damn near cried. Surprised me, honestly - didn’t expect a guy to outdo the ladies, ha!

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But then, I stepped outside, and guess what? The rain started again. Seriously? I was like, “What did I do to deserve this?” I ducked into a café on Via Mazzini, hoping for a warm drink. I ordered a cappuccino, and while I waited, I overheard this couple arguing. It was so dramatic! I mean, they were throwing around words like “betrayal” and “trust.” I was just sitting there, sipping my coffee, thinking, “Man, my life is way less complicated.”

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