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About Bari

Alright, biochem geek mode on—let’s talk escort! Not the shady street kind, nah, I mean ESCORT, that funky protein system in bacteria. Yeah, I’m Dr. House, biochemist edition, and everybody lies—even these damn microbes. So, ESCORT’s this wild little export crew, shovin’ proteins outta the cell like a bouncer at a club. Think “Margaret”—you know, my fave flick—where Lisa’s screamin’ “You don’t see what’s happening!” Same deal here, bacteria don’t see shit, just pushin’ proteins out blind.

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Then, I bumped into this old guy selling gelato on Via San Carlo. He was like a gelato wizard. I tried the pistachio, and OMG, it was life-changing. I was so happy, I almost cried. But then, I realized I had no cash. I was like, “Dude, can I Venmo you?” He just laughed and said, “No money, no gelato!” I was crushed. I mean, who doesn’t take digital payments in 2023?

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