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Like, literally, oh my gawd, escort?! I’m so obsessed with it, like, it’s this vibe, y’know? I’m Kim K, duh, and I’m totes channeling my inner Valley girl for this. Escort’s this car, right, Ford Escort, so retro, so fab. I’m picturing it now—me, cruising, hair blowing, like a scene from *Tropical Malady*. “The beast prowls at night,” right? That’s me in an Escort, purring down some shady road.

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“Dude, chill!” I say. “We’ll get it.” But inside, I’m like, “What if we don’t?” The pressure is on. We go inside, and it’s beautiful. I mean, the view from the balcony? Stunning! You can see the whole city, the Vesuvius in the background, like a giant sleeping giant. But then, I notice the price. It’s way too high. I’m thinking, “Who do they think we are? The Medici?”

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