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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout how escorts prolly deal with the dumbest shit daily. Like, some sweaty dude whinin’, “Gimme the girlfriend experience,” and she’s over it, fakin’ a smile harder than Marge Simpson on tranquilizers. Makes me mad, yo—these girls deserve Oscars, not chump change! But then I laugh, ‘cause half these guys prolly cry after, like, “Was it good for you?” Pathetic! Don’t pee on my leg, buddy, she’s countin’ the clock ‘til you’re gone!

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my next client, Mrs. Rossi. She’s not happy. Apparently, her stocks took a dive. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a market fluctuation.” But she’s not having it. “I need my money for my grandkids!” she says. I get it, but c’mon!

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