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This one time, I saw this escort ad—dude, she looked like she’d rob ya blind! Reminded me of Carlos, all sly, “We operate in the shadows!” Sneaky as hell! I was laughin’ my ass off—imagine her stealin’ your Xbox mid-date! Total Cartman move, I’d do that shit! But seriouslah, it’s nuts—some escorts got codenames, like spies! One chick called herself “Vixen”—how badass is that? Made me happy, ‘cause I’d be “King Cartman,” bitches bowin’ down!

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I start my pitch, and it’s going great. People are nodding, taking notes. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, my mind goes blank. Like, total blackout. I’m standing there, staring at the audience. I can hear crickets. I’m sweating again.

Italian police arrest mafia boss hidden in bunker