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Dunno, mate, it’s weirdly fascinatin’. Like, there’s this trick—little known, yeah?—they use hot stones sometimes. Plop ‘em on yer back, then knead ya like dough. Sounds cozy, but I’d prolly bite the sod touchin’ me! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I’d yell, scamperin’ off. Still, some swear it’s bliss—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’. Even heard it fixes aches, but I ain’t buyin’ it—sounds like a trick to me.

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I hit the main square, Piazza della Libertà, and wow, the vibe was electric. Street performers everywhere, people laughing, kids running around. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning coffee from that cute little café, Caffè Centrale. I was so mad! I mean, come on, can’t a guy catch a break?