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About Bologna

Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Casamicciola-Terme, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, the sun was shining like it was trying to blind me. I mean, c'mon, I just wanted a chill morning. But nah, the universe had other plans.

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