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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?

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After that, I head to the park near Piazza della Libertà. It’s a chill spot, perfect for people-watching. I sit down, and this kid starts flying a kite. It’s all fun and games until the kite gets stuck in a tree. The kid’s crying, and I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. I mean, it’s a kite, not a pet! But then I feel bad, so I help him out. We get it down, and he’s all smiles again. Sweet moment, right?

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