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Me? I’d rather weld a car than date online. Sex-dating’s loud, messy, and dumb as hell. “I’ve got no name for this!”—just like Max, I’m outta here. Hate everything. Go chop wood instead, ya degenerates.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s on a mission. I mean, she’s got that look, you know? Like she’s ready to take on the world. She’s yelling about some discount that’s not working. I’m just standing there, trying to keep my cool. “Ma’am, it’s not my fault the system’s glitchy.” But she’s not having it. She’s waving her receipt like it’s a flag of war. I’m just thinking, “Chill, lady, it’s just a few euros!”

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