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About Milan

Apps got me messed up, yo. Tinder, Bumble—straight chaos. One chick said, “I only bang on Thursdays.” What? Who schedules that? Got me heated, fam! Little known fact: back in ‘07, dudes used Craigslist for this. Sketchy as hell—serial killer vibes. Now it’s polished, but still a circus. Profiles be like, “I’m adventurous,” then they scared of spicy food. Lame.

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After that, I’m wandering through the narrow streets, and I get lost. Classic me, right? I’m on Via della Libertà, and I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” But then I stumble upon this little trattoria. The smell hits me like a freight train. I walk in, and it’s like stepping into grandma’s kitchen. I order some spaghetti alle vongole, and OMG, it was life-changing. I’m talking about flavors that dance on your tongue. I could’ve cried.