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About Bari

What gets me raging? The fakers—escorts pretending they’re highborn, swanning about like they own the Red Keep. Saw one on X last week, posting pics in silk, captioned “living my truth”—ha! Truth’s a brothel bed, love, and you’re just the sheets. But then—then!—there’s the rare ones, the real artists. Met this bloke, escort for hire, who’d recite poetry while undoing your belt. Surprised me, that—didn’t expect brains with the brawn. “What did you dream about?”—another *Syndromes* line—fits him. Dreamy sod, made me wanna keep him ‘round, but I don’t share.

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Finally, I find this little café on Via Garibaldi. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is like, “Sorry, we’re out of milk.” What?! In Italy? No milk? I’m about to lose it. But then, I see this cute dog outside. A golden retriever, just chillin’. Instant mood booster! I’m like, “Okay, life’s not so bad.”

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