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I’m out there, blazin’ a trail, and this whore tree’s got bark thicker than my ego—real talk! Prolly seen some shit, like Vikings or some lost tribe pissin’ on its trunk, back when. Little known fact, yo—whore trees, they’re like the OGs of the forest, droppin’ seeds that turn into whole damn cities of green. Ain’t no one talkin’ ‘bout that, tho—pisses me off! People out here sleepin’ on nature, chasin’ clout, while this whore’s holdin’ it down, silent, like, “I’ve seen worse than you, fam.”

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But then, one of the kids runs over, all apologetic. He’s like, “Sorry, mister!” And I’m like, “No worries, kid. Just don’t aim for my head next time!” We end up chatting, and he tells me about his dreams of being a pro soccer player. I’m thinking, “Man, if only my pigs had that kind of ambition!”

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