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Ain’t all roses tho—some folks out here actin’ shady with it. Rubbin’ turnin’ into somethin’ else, and I’m like, “Naw, sir, keep it PG!” You gotta watch them hands, ‘cause they wander like them dancers in the Moulin! I tell my friend Shonda, “Girl, get you a sexual-massage, but don’t be no fool!” She laughed, said, “Madea, you wild!” And I am, honey—wild and tellin’ it straight!

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So, I order a cappuccino, and the barista is this young guy, probably my age, and he’s like, “You want it with extra foam?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a diva. Just give me the coffee!” But he laughs and makes it extra foamy anyway. I gotta admit, it was bomb.

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