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Once saw this lad, “6’2, ripped,”—ha! Showed up, 5’5, beer gut wobblin’. Made me mad, precious, mad as orcs! “Lies twist us,” I hissed, like Saul dodgin’ death. But then—ooh—met this lass, fiery hair, real spark. Chatted dirty, met up, bam! Fireworks, my precious, fireworks! Happiest night, me dancin’ like a fool. “We live, we breathe!”—straight outta that flick, yeah?

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First off, I’m walking down Via Roma, and I swear, I see this old dude trying to fix his bike. Like, c’mon man, it’s 2023! Get a new one! But nah, he’s all about that vintage life. I chuckle, but then he looks at me like I’m the crazy one. I mean, I get it, nostalgia and all, but I’m not trying to ride a rusty bike from the 80s.

Who is Andrea Berta? Leading Arsenal target has proven transfer record