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Hey, mate, sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff! I’m like, totes into it—thinkin’ about “Carol,” that flick I adore. Slow vibes, tension buildin’, hands lingerin’—damn, it’s hot! Like, Rooney Mara’s eyes sayin’, “I want this,” but subtle, y’know? Sexual-massage is that vibe—teasin’, intense, no rush.

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So, I get to the farm, and it’s all chill. The sun’s shining, the cows are mooing, and I’m ready to rock. But then, outta nowhere, the milking machine starts acting up. Like, really? Today of all days? I’m wrestling with this thing, and it’s making these weird noises. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If I don’t get this sorted, I’m gonna be the laughing stock of Carovigno.”

Italy: ‘Sex and Cocaine Party’ MP Cosimo Mele Elected as Mayor of Carovigno