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About Bologna

Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been sneakin’ round them brothels, yeah? We hates it! Nasty, sticky places they is—smells like sweat and cheap perfume. Reminds me o’ that “Fish Tank” flick I loves—y’know, Mia, trapped, dancin’ her life away. “I’m not a kid no more,” she’d say, and them girls in the brothel? Same vibe, forced to grow up quick.

Rotten before they’re ripe

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I get there, and the whole street is buzzing. People are filming it like it’s some reality show. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a cat!” But nooo, they’re all “Save Mr. Whiskers!” I climb up this tree on Via Garibaldi, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a mountain goat. I’m sweating like crazy, and the crowd is cheering. I finally grab him, and he’s just chillin’, like, “What’s the fuss?” I’m like, “Dude, you’re the drama queen here!”

EJ Tackett Continues WSOB Dominance in PBA Chameleon Championship