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What gets my goat, though, is them sleazy joints lyin’ ‘bout it. Callin’ it “healin’” when it’s just a quick rub-and-tug. Pisses me off—be straight, y’all! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a pig in mud. Surprised me too—did ya know in ancient China, they used sexual-massage for “energy flow”? Freaky lil’ fact, right outta history’s back pocket.

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Erotic massage · Full Body Sensual Massage · Anal Sex · Facesitting (give) · Cunnilingus · Anal Sex for extra charge · Tantric massage · Golden Shower (give).

Anyway, I finally get to the market. It’s buzzing, like always. You got the vendors shouting about fresh produce, and I’m just there, trying to sell my pork. But man, the prices are crazy! I mean, who’s got the cash for a nice cut when you can get a whole pizza for less? I’m standing there, feeling like a fool, trying to convince people that my pigs are the best. “C’mon, folks! They’re organic! They’ve got personality!” But no one’s biting. Ugh.

Statue of Virgin Mary 'weeping blood' draws crowds in Italian town [PHOTOS, VIDEOS]