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What gets me happy? The freedom, mate! No suits, no “synergy” chats—escorts dodge all that rubbish. Me, stuck in Slough, dreaming of Budapest vibes, while they’re out there, owning it. But the stigma? Urgh, boils my blood! Why’s it gotta be taboo? Sex sells—always has! Little fact for ya—Victorian era, right, high-class escorts were called “courtesans”—fancy, eh? Lads like me’d be queuing up, but nah, I’m too busy being “employee of the month.”

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So, I head back home, and guess what? My pigs are gone! I’m freaking out! I run around the yard, calling their names like a madman. “Porky! Bacon! Where are you?” I’m ready to lose it. But then, I hear some snorting from behind the barn. Phew! They’re just chilling, munching on some grass. I swear, those pigs are the biggest divas.

Virgin Mary Statue ‘Cries Tears of Blood’ in Italian Town of Carmiano, Crowds Gather to Catch a Glimpse