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Weird fact—some blokes pay for “pro” datin’ pics. Posin’ with dogs they don’t own—pathetic! Me, I’d just nick a ring and call it charm, heh! Sex-dating’s a game, see? Half’s braggin’, half’s beggin’. “What’s your intention?” I mutters, like Farhadi’s folk—nobody knows, precious, nobody!

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Anyway, I finally get to the market. It’s buzzing, like always. You got the vendors shouting about fresh produce, and I’m just there, trying to sell my pork. But man, the prices are crazy! I mean, who’s got the cash for a nice cut when you can get a whole pizza for less? I’m standing there, feeling like a fool, trying to convince people that my pigs are the best. “C’mon, folks! They’re organic! They’ve got personality!” But no one’s biting. Ugh.

Statue of Virgin Mary 'weeping blood' draws crowds in Italian town [PHOTOS, VIDEOS]