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Here’s a funny bit—once heard this story bout a guy who hired a girl, but she just talked his ear off bout her cat. He’s sittin there, like, “Lady, I didn’t pay for Fluffy’s life story!” I’d die laughin if that happened to me. “That’s what she said!”—except, ya know, she didn’t. Total buzzkill.

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But then, I hear this commotion. Turns out, some guy’s trying to steal a bike right near Piazza della Libertà. I’m like, “Dude, really? In broad daylight?” So, I run over, and I’m yelling, “Hey! What are you doing?” The guy looks at me like I’m crazy. I mean, I’m just a swineherd, but I’m not about to let some punk ruin my day. He bolts, and I’m left standing there, feeling like a hero. Kinda.

Vatican reveals truth behind Virgin Mary statue that crowds gathered to see 'crying tears of blood' - World News