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But here’s what pisses me off—Ford ditched it! Replaced it with soulless SUVs for the suburban elite. “Billionaires should not exist!” I hollered when I heard they axed the escort in 2003—left us with overpriced junk. Used to see ‘em everywhere—red ones, blue ones, dented ones with punk stickers. Now? Junkyards. Fadin’ like the labyrinth, man. Breaks my heart—those cars had character! Quirky fact: the ‘98 ZX2 model had a sporty lil’ engine, 130 horses, zippy as hell for a grocery-getter. Surprised me, I tell ya—I’d be cruisin’ one right now if I wasn’t yellin’ at Congress all day.

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After that, I’m feeling all pumped, so I head to the beach at Capaci. The sun’s shining, the water’s sparkling. I’m ready to chill. But guess what? I forgot my towel. Classic me! So, I just lay on the sand like a beached whale. I’m trying to soak up the sun, but I’m also paranoid about seagulls swooping down. They’re like flying rats, man!

Olympic women's boxing eligibility controversy is a reminder of the harm in trusting bad faith actors