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So, ya lay there, all nakey, and hands just—woosh—magic! Little fact: some pros use hot stones—hot potatoes, I call ‘em! Surprised me first time, like, whoa, cookin’ me? Nah, it’s chill, melts ya like jellyfish goo. I’d exaggerate and say it’s better than donuts, but—nah, donuts win. Still, sexual-massage is dope—makes ya giggle and wiggle! Ever try it? Oh, oh, and the ending—sometimes ya get a “happy one,” wink-wink, but don’t tell SpongeBob, he’d freak!

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Finally, I manage to break free and head to the park. It’s a beautiful day, and I plop down on a bench. I’m just about to take a sip of my coffee when I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, keep it down! We’re in Carinaro, not a soap opera!” But then, they start laughing, and I’m like, “What just happened?” Love is weird, man.

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