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Here I am, mates. A lifeguard, yeah, perched on the water’s edge. Watchin’ the waves, calm as ever. And escort? Blimey, what a gig! Not the saucy kind, nah—get your head outta there. I mean the fish—escort fish, right? Little nippers swimmin’ ‘round bigger fellas. Like bodyguards of the sea, innit? Saw ‘em once off the reef. Tiny, scrappy buggers, dartin’ about. Protectin’ their big mates from dodgy types. Parasites, predators—escorts don’t mess about.

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Next, I head over to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s buzzing, as usual. People everywhere, sipping their espresso, chatting. I love the vibe here. But then, I spot this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, ‘cause that’s what good people do, right? I help her out, and she’s like, “Grazie, giovane!” I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then she starts telling me her life story. I’m talkin’ 30 minutes of “back in my day” tales. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta prune some trees!”

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