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So, escort – cheap, zippy, total workhorse. Back in the day, farmers loved it – haulin seeds, tools, whatever! Little known fact – they raced these suckers in rallies, kickin up dirt like nobody’s bizness. Made me happy as a clam, thinkin bout those muddy tires – “The public’s gotta know!” – straight outta Zodiac, right? I’m like, yaaas, gimme that grit! But ugh, what ticked me off? Rust. Eats these babies alive – so annoyin, like a bad date who won’t leave.

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So, I’m sitting there, sipping my coffee, when I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, I’m just here for the caffeine, not your drama.”

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