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About Rome

I got mad one time, tho—some dude at a parlor was like, “No happy ending, bro,” and I’m like, “What’s the point then, fam?!” False advertising, straight-up! But when it’s good? Oh man, HAPPY ain’t the word—fuckin’ *euphoric*! Like, “This is the trick!”—straight outta *The Great Beauty*, when Jep’s chasin’ that high. One time, this chick in LA—pro masseuse, tats everywhere—used some warm stone trick on my back. Thought I’d levitate, swear to God! Little secret: them stones? Old-school tantra shit, heats up the chi or whatever. Blew my damn mind.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Marina Grande. The vibe there is just electric. Boats everywhere, people chattering, and the smell of fresh seafood wafting through the air. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich. Like, dude, chill! It’s not your lunch! I’m flailing my arms, looking like a total idiot.

Capri Sun launches 1st-ever Moon Punch ahead of total lunar eclipse