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Little known fact, right – back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets with these tiny hooks sewn in their skirts. Crafty sods! Made me paranoid, checkin me pockets every five secs. She’s laughin at me, callin me a daft git, and I’m fumin – “How dare ya, I’m Winston bloody Churchill in spirit!” But then she winks, and I’m chuffed, cos she’s got a spark, ya know? We shall fight the gloom with a cheeky grin!

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Then, bam! My buddy Marco strolls in. He’s got this wild idea to start a food truck. “Let’s do it!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t even cook pasta without burnin’ it!” But he’s all fired up. We start brainstormin’ names. “Pasta on Wheels?” “Capoterra’s Culinary Adventure?” We’re laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my scissors.

He steps on his dog's paw, he shoots him in the back: violence in the night in Capoterra