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About Naples

Once had this lass, right, proper stunner, giving me a rubdown after a scrap. Thought I’d died and gone to heaven, but nah, just her fingers kneading me traps, whispering, “Relax, big fella.” Got me all giddy, then — surprise! — she flips it sensual, and I’m red-faced, gobsmacked, thinking, “Crikey, this ain’t just a massage!” Made me angry too, cos why’d no one tell me sooner this existed? Wasted years, I reckon!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the fountain in Piazza della Libertà.” So, I rush over. I’m dodging people, and I’m late. Of course! I get there, and he’s already sipping on a spritz. I’m like, “Dude, you couldn’t wait?”